Chapter 21: What to Expect?

geez... I just dun know what to expect during the hols...
it's like boring bullshit... but I like it coz it's not skul days.

I actually plan to spend my 2 week hols doin workouts...
I'm lookin pretty skinny at the moment and I need to increase my fitness too!
so yea I did jogging, skipping, sit ups, push ups, back ups, lifting weights and sprinting.
I've been doin dis wit my family since wednesday (during 2nd week exam).

but seriously do I look "skinny" to you??
honestly I totally disagree wit those who say so.

ah! exams! oh wait.. dat gives me d creeps...
rumors are sayin dat my add maths got 81!
wow.. dats cool but I should've done better...
I even got my chemistry paper! sadly I got 44.5~
now I just hope dat I won't fail my bm paper.

hols... well... I got no one to spend time wit..
if u're asking me "how bout Esther??"
well... d answer u're gonna get is, there's no her in my holidays.
I just wanted to say dat, I've given up on her.. she's so in LOVE wit Brandon.
becoz of dat, the "sparks" are gone.. honestly, if it was the other way, things would be much different.
if you're gonna ask me "are u sad?", I have mix answers for dat, yes and no. I said yes becoz, my love was not accepted and I really can't believe she can't forget bout Brandon. it seems to me dat she really loves him.
but.. dis situation got me thinkin..
-why i can get over and forget bout Chrissie?
-she was my 1st love, I really love her, but I can get over her?
-does dis mean dat I was not really in love wit Chrissie??
summore... I'm sad to see Esther in love with dat guy... I dunno why. dis situation is somehow connected to my story; did Chrissie felt dat way towards me?

and d reason I said no is becoz...
......
......
I think I do not deserve to be with her..
like d time when... Chrissie was stolen from me... and she told me "I never loved you"...
and funny thing was... I was rejected by Esther twice.. I won't hav to know d third one.
sometimes when peeps say "never give up"... I doubt it.