but it was a long road,
but along the road there lay me hanging,
out of sight, I tripped on a rock,
falling to an immediate but short doom.
my hands were strong enough to push myself up,
but have to lay back down,
as these hands got weak of burden and self-hate,
it wasn't supposed to be this way,
but that's what my drama script have to say.
sitting down on the sideway of the road,
I waited for healing, or perhaps a remedy,
hours passes by, nothing,
making insanity hit the very core of my cereblum,
for failure is what makes pressure hurts the most.
knowing the going is tough, instead use my legs,
to stand tall and continue walking, arms crossed,
then comes two diverging roads, none with a sign,
I was to make decision, and decision comes consequences,
for actions are like a role-playing game,
the leading character to live a fate unlike any other,
my situation makes life such a bother,
and so I picked, without the voice of a father or mother.
magnitudes of thunder sounds, lightning strikes, came to my way,
I screamed as loud as I can, hoping to fend it off,
I asked for it, it stroke my hands,
piercing every bit of pieces of my strength and faith,
for it's pain shows how heavy sin can be,
making matters worse, my strong legs share the same fate,
I fell again, this time screaming even louder,
I asked for it.
life was coming to an end, metaphorically
I'm self-destructive, metaphorically
I'm weak and hopeless, metaphorically
an attempt to take myself down, never dreamt of it.
as I said before, it was a good run,
I'm still able to stand up,
I guess this what life really means, metaphorically,
a person goes strong, weak, and strong again, and weak again,
again and again,
"are you willing? are you tired? are you sick?",
I'm masochistic, because it's a part of the drama,
faith runs strong,
feeling of never going wrong,
yet, I'll only ever fall to the deepest,
to become the talk of the empty.
I start to hate myself more, and so I cry,
pulling me back into reality,
alone and giving thoughts,
wondering if my heart can make it through,
I think of others, unfairness, envious, selfishness,
they have the advantage before, they utilized every bit of it,
I was at the receiving end, sad and broken,
but now when I am in their shoes, pride took over,
until I finally realized that I'm no better than them,
perhaps it was an understatement that I'm not understanding,
a weakness most would ever want to avoid.
I become self-destructive,
physically not affected,
yet destroys the very beauty of the my own image,
becomes a shadow, out of interest,
not the desired, be the letdown.
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