Final Chapter: Disconnect the Rhythm

"finally.. the Chapter ends here.

it has been a nice run for me.. to be able to blog about my life.

where most of my readers are my friends who liked it while most outsiders disliked it.

anyway, this is the final chapter, and I'm wrapping it up to work over my next blog Already Asian.

I M WHO I M will remain here for viewing but may not have any more posts (except for My Randomness!! episodes)."

okay let's begin :)

Calling Quits

as of May 2011, I'm finally calling quits to my badminton dreams but will remain playing as a casual player and play much lesser tournaments. I'll be taking a really long break while I prepare myself mentally for my studies which I will leave for KL by early 2012. it's not that I'm lazy at training, I did some long thinking and I came to realize that my responsibilities to the family is much more important than my own dreams. I know I can still play badminton at any time at college/uni as so that I will not waste my talent. due to this event, I lost all my fitness and some of my consistency in stroke play.. making me more "vulnerable" while playing matches. surprisingly, it feels nice to lose to my cousins and uncles once or twice after being "almost unbeatable" in the family. being entitled "the top gun of the Kisseys" by my uncle will remain in me as it is the burning spirit to every match I play though my cousin Mavard will most likely overtake me. honestly, I'm not saying that I'm a very pro player, I'm happy with my level of play though I'm not the likes of the state players who has achieved a lot to make Sabah proud. may badminton in Sabah continue to grow and produce world-beating players in the future.

While Waiting

well, I'm out of badminton, and I'm seriously not getting a job. I only "plant grapes" now (menganggur)! only enjoying everyday which I call holidays. the only things I'm doing now is doing house chores, watch tv, play video games (most of the time), and play badminton with family every Tuesday and Saturday. other than that,

"the only things I'm doing now is doing house chores, watch tv, play video games, etc."

I'm just a potato couch but I'm seriously not getting any fatter as my weight remains at 61kgs. huh! what an incredible feat LOL. but I'm getting bored day by day.. unless I get new copies of video games. somehow, I wondered how my brother was able to survive a whole year of "planting grapes" before furthering his studies?! guess that's one thing my bro is good at; waiting. this is actually my current life after I quit badminton. mostly the same thing everyday.. I spend most of my time at home.. I even get a comment by someone, "get a life" he says. thanks, but seriously I do have a life, I'm ALIVE if that's what you mean. my mum and dad are the ones who keep me company all the time. even if I want to go out, most of my friends are already away to further their studies.. well, I wish them ALL THE BEST!

My Gain, Your Loss

about the self complications that I've faced for the past 6 months, it has finally come to an end. somehow, my prayers have been answered so I have to say BIG thanks to

"I may have gone over the line that night"

 
Almighty God. before that, it seems like I'll suffer longer than usual but thanks to some simple spontaneous act, I benefited from it. though it comes with a cost, which is that I resulted in making some enemies with good people. but that's just a significant risk and I certainly didn't lose anything. instead, I gained something. I may have gone over the line that night, but still, no regrets.

well, ain't that great? haha! slowly, things are starting to get better.

and I'm feeling so much newer.

though I'm still me, I've still got lots to learn from life..

I've to meet new people, while maintaining friends..

the chapter ends here, but it's still a long way to go!

see you on my next BLOG!

just for fun :)

|_.::FIN::._|

Composing the Final Chapter is Hard

"Chapter 27 is still in works but I'm finding it hard to finish it..

ugh, I'm having issues with myself on whether to post such story.

since it's supposed to be the end of the Chapter series,

I decided that I'll be frank on this post."

I've come to a simple conclusion that I'm going to post this with it's whole story without leaving readers to think what the hell is actually going on. in most chapters and My Randomness! episodes, whenever I discussed a problem I faced, I rarely elaborate about it. for example, in MR!! ep. 18 where I discussed about the complications I faced and this so called dream lady, "Wedding Crasher", I didn't really touch on the real facts but instead leave readers to think, "what the hell?". well, in the final chapter, I'm going to be exposing more.. but still holding back some.

Chapter 27 is 78% done as I'm typing this..

and that's it. just informing on what's to come on Chapter 27 ^_^

ANNOUNCEMENT: Chapter series to END, My Randomness!! episodes getting a makeover

ehems~~!


hello fellow blog readers of my blog, Zack here.

this is just a short announcement of what's to happen to my blog.

currently, the Chapter series has come to a standstill and I'm pleased to say that the series will come to its final chapter in Chapter 27. I'm stating this out because, my life stories seems to have come to its closing anyway. but there's good news for loyal readers.. my life has not ended yet, just entering a new phase.

this means that an all-new series of my life stories will be introduced!

I can tell you this, the title header for the new series is "Adulthood".
this is because as I grow up, my life stories and how I present it are becoming more mature (I guess..) and also the end of the Chapter series marks the end of teen life at school. although I'm still considered a teen, I'm legal of some adult stuffs..

just think of it as... Dragonball going to Dragonball Z! a more mature and intense story driven drama.

the other announcement.. as stated in the title, the M. R.!!(My Randomness!!) episodes will be getting a makeover. I've not come up with a suitable title header for the series yet but it'll be more about my "views" and "philosophy"..

all these new series will be heading into a new blog page http://zackalreadyasian.blogspot.com

it's still empty.. so don't bother looking at it :)

My Randomness!! Ep. 22: Colour My Life

pfffffyyyYYYYTTTTTT!

hmm... what was that? sorry, just another one of my sarcrapsm..

don't know what's SARCRAPSM???

well, obviously it's sarcasm + crap =?...

or is it supposed to be sarcasm x(multiply) crap = sarcrapsm?

no.. that's not right..

should be..

S x A x R x C x R x A x P x S x M = SA2R2CPSM
                                                        = S(A)(R)C(R)(A)PSM

urgh.. you know what..
you work out the equation!

hahaha.. sorry, I tend to have an "intro" for every post that I make. it's.. a tendency.. *ehem*

today's post is about COLOURS! don't ask me why I wrote this, but it just pop out. and again, it's random so that's why it's in the My Randomness!! episodes.

by the way, let's start with black and white.. currently now my favourite colour. both have meaning to each individual who chooses them. separately, they differ from each other. but combining them together, they tell another story.

Yellow: usually the preferred colour for my badminton kits

often when people watch old movies that were black and white, they say it's "colourless". no, they are not colourless, black and white is indeed and obviously COLOUR. only that it has little taste and feel to watch. personally, watching a movie in black and white gives weight to my heart. I don't know why, that's just me I guess. I love movies with rich colour.. let's take the latest; Green Lantern! I love the "green" in the movie. though the colour YELLOW is usually the preferred colour for my badminton kits but sadly this time "yellow" is the baddy (colour of fear in Green Lantern movie).

talking about colourless.. it's easy to find one thing that is. one of them is water. they do not have any distinct colour.. they just exist that way. how God manage to make it colourless is absolutely amazing. though kids tend to justify that water is BLUE, it does appear to look blue at times. why was it blue? according to one scientific explanation, for the same reason why the sky is blue, when white light from the sun enters the water (ex: ocean), other colours are formed (RED, blue, ORANGE, yellow, rainbow colours etc.). but like red, orange, yellow (long wavelength light), the water absorbs the colour stronger than of blue (short wavelength light) and blue is what your eyes see.

now, let's not get nerdy here.. haha.

so, what can we actually do with colours? we can paint a picture, we can write with them, we can beautify something with them.. we can do anything with them. colour gives or shows character. why so? every soul has colour. every time they do something, they are actually either adding or showing "colour" of themselves. when people are in love.. the "emit" a colour. people describe their love with a shape of a heart. but it means nothing without colour.. so they add red to it. but why RED? in my opinion, heart pumps blood which is red, so it's obvious that a love heart is red in colour. or it also means sacrifice.. a person would sacrifice anything for love, including one's own life. when one loses love.. the love heart turns black. black like charcoal, it breaks easily and can be burned which causes pain.

a happy person usually emits rainbow colours (at least that's how I felt when I'm happy). rainbow colours are beautiful which brings a smile upon a face when a rainbow appears after a gloomy blue rainy day.. hahaha.. now I'm putting colour into my writings to describe something. how beautiful colour can be.

In Brightest Day, In Darkest Night

right now, I can describe that my life is.. black and white. it feels heavy, empty and lifeless. but somehow, it's alright to me. I'm not doing anything bad about it and I plan to keep it that way. it's like seeing life as a straight line. if I add other colour to it, it'll no longer be straight but maybe wavy instead which is nice but "risky". inside my black and white coloured life, there's a rainbow in it.. waiting to be released and shared with others. I'm not releasing all those colours yet though.

My Life: Black and White

that is also why my current profile pictures in facebook are black and white. I felt that it truly pictures my life.. with the gloomy look I always give, seldom smiling in them. but don't worry, deep down inside, I'm full of colour.. red, blue, yellow, green, orange, etc.. with my friends, I emit my colour. but alone, I remain black and white; my true self.

so...

what is the COLOUR of your life???

mine is black and white as mentioned..

stay tuned because Ep. 23 will come sooner than expected.. maybe.
the Chapter series however still remains on hold because there's nothing new in my life for now..

wait..

there is.. ah!! Chapter 27 will come soon also lah xDDDDD

anyway..~!

figured out the SARCRAPTIC equation yet????

if NO.. then.. view the pic below..

MIAOW!!!

SEE YOU IN THE NEXT POST! xDDDDDD

My Randomness!! Ep. 21: That's You, That's Me

Fate, perhaps this was the way,
to admire without love,
it does not matter to me, as long as you're always happy,
content and always blessed, that's you.

a long time a feeling like this was kept hidden,
waiting for you to accept my heart,
it does not matter to me, for as long as you were in my sight,
feeling contented and blessed for the moment, that's me.

I wanted you to know, I wanted to wait for you,
even if it means waiting until I would draw my final breath,
to hope that this would last forever,
to hold you in my arms until it's over.

I need you, but I don't want you,
now, for just awhile, I'll just dwell on what we were together,
not who we were together.

That's you..

That's me..

My Randomness!! Ep. 20: When I Call Your Name

You never said that this was easy,
you also never said that it would be this hard,
our love is meant to be forever, now or never seems to disappear,
there's gotta be some way for me to utter
what's on my heart without leaving scars,
well, can you hear me.. when I call your name?

Life complications are the cores of all that's wrong,
and I've been standing in the river of deliverance way too long,
there's gotta be some way for me to utter
what's on my heart without leaving scars,
so, can you hear me.. when I call your name?

And when I fall apart, are you the reason for my endless sorrow?
there's so much to be said.
And with a broken heart, these four walls can only go down but so low.
Can you hear me when I call your name?

You never said that this would be easy,
when I called your name..

My Randomness!! Ep. 19: Learn My Lesson

Tonight the sunset means so much,
the one thing that you know you'll never touch,
like the feeling, the real thing,
I reach out for that sweet dream,
but somehow the darkness wakes me up.

And I've felt this emptiness before,
but all the times that I've been broken,
I still run right back for more.

Sometimes I think I'm better off,
to turn out the lights and close up shop,
and give up the longing, believing in belonging,
just hold down my head and take the loss.

You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now,
you'd think that I'd somehow figure out,
that if you strike the match,
you're bound to feel the flame.

You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love,
paid that price long enough,
but still I drive myself right through the pain,

yeah, well it turns out I haven't learned a thing..

My Randomness!! Ep. 18: Self Complication and the "Wedding Crasher"

tonight.. I'm blogging again once more.

life right now, seems quiet in my opinion.. well, so much quiet than usual. usually, there's so many things to do outside. but right now, it's all the "same". however, I don't mind living like this for a while but things could change in an instance, or it could stay the same. I don't want to write much here.. but just the need to "extract" my personal feelings on something; on a computer, my blog site.

for the past few months, a lot of things are bothering me in one way or another. some were temporary, some were lasting. the temporary ones are all new but didn't quite bother me. the lasting ones were supposed to be "dead" but no.. it still lingers.. and it has been there with me ever since. I don't like keeping it to myself nor expressing it to the community. but I guess I just need to write. at least to frequently remind myself how "troubled" I am right now. though it may not be important to most people, it is indeed very important to me.

funny how people can't notice how "disturbed" I am. it seems like I covered it all up very nicely. although I tend to attract some attention when I expressed some distress in my status updates on Facebook, when people ask what's the matter, I reply in a joking manner; implying that I was just fooling around. but seriously, I do feel disturbed.. but I couldn't help keeping it to myself so I expressed them through Facebook and the joke comments I put there were intentional so that people won't ask more. I admit, I don't need anybody's help. I can solve this on my own.

back to the topic, I would have sleepless nights. though I could sleep after that, I often have dreams.. most of them were sweet, warm, thoughtful. in other words, the dreams I had were nice. sometimes, I would love to stay in dreams longer than reality. most of the dreams were vivid; I could feel one's hand on mine, feel emotions.. only to feel depressed upon waking up because I was so happy to feel this way, and then all of that vanished. I don't like it at all.. but at least I have some times of happiness though temporary.

furthermore, I often wanted to find some place where I can be alone. I'm always in the need to think, to correct myself for past mistakes.. or just be alone.

the only times when I'm not feeling troubled is when I'm playing video games and playing badminton. that's why right now I'm spending more time on video games than other stuffs. but I know it won't help me forever.. one day I might want to do something new.. something more exciting.

but what am I having actually? what really bothers me? am I having stress? yes, I think I do have stress but what causes the stress? well, I don't need to find out about that. I already know. and it's making me crazy.. what am I to do about it..?

every second, it hurts me. I prefer not to hurt anybody with what I'm facing and that is why I pushed away the things that were close to me. but I don't love them anymore. I lost all feelings.. I feel nothing when I throw them all away. it sounds cruel but it's the best option. if I keep them close, they will get hurt too. I don't want that. furthermore, they were all burdens to me.. I'd rather cut loose. I'm sorry for what I've done but honestly I don't care whether you're hurt from my actions and I don't care if you hate me.

still.. about my dreams.. I would call it "meeting the Wedding Crasher" dreams. Wedding Crasher(WC) was always beautiful. whenever I was around WC, I would feel comfortable and calm. I would smile. we were always in different places, and all of them were nice places. WC would recite memorable words in my past. the words were once meant a lot to me but uttered by people who don't actually mean what they say. I would sometimes have walks with WC.. while holding hands.. it was so real.. reminds me so much of.. never mind. but anyway, usually our talks were short. and then I would wake up in the morning.. felt sad again. another day to live through.

for anybody's information, Wedding Crasher is a real person in real life. and she's female, my age. WC is also the same person in real life; all personalities are there. I must be crazy but seriously I would dream of WC almost every night. I know one day the dreams will end soon.

I don't know what to say more.. because these words I wrote here aren't making any sense at all. I'm not revealing the truth anyway. but obviously I think all of you know already. hahaha..

anyway.. that's all I have to blog about for now..

Chapter 26: Counting Cars

oh hey ladies and gentlemen..

my story continues on..

so does any other out there..

written by a famous Author..

assisted by yourself to help the Author write your story..

hello all! I'm back with the latest chapter of my life; Counting Cars. 1st of all.. the reason why I chose this as the title is because it means that I'm waiting for the "next big thing" in my own life. implying the counting cars in the sense of letting time flies either fast or slow depending on how fast the next car arrives, either interesting or bad.

here I'm going to divide into parts again like Chapter 25. so here's Chapter 26......

Back in the Game

Foo Chow; I train badminton here

as I return home from national service, I decided that I should take a break for about a week. I needed that rest and to release myself from the tensions I had back at camp. don't get me wrong, I really love the experience at camp and no, tension is always around. the only things I did during those rest times were going online, blogging, texting my girlfriend, play video games, and meeting the family members other than having lots and lots of sleep.

and believe me, I couldn't stand the rest times! I needed to do something, something like work or more fun stuffs. and so, my dad and I arranged a meeting with the head coach of AST badminton club where I again became an active member and player. only this time I decided to go full-time, training everyday. at the end of March, I started my 1st week of training after nearly 10 months of leaving the club to go through SPM exams and national service. and I can tell you, the 1st week back to training gave me an idea that this was a lot worse than committing suicide! I get pains on like every muscle on my legs and arms. I barely survived 30 minutes of training! ugh.. it's one of the worst feelings ever.. now I thought national service was pampering the people there and not giving them a little taste of hardcore.

let's just say, for 3 weeks, it's been hell for me. but the difficulty gets a lot lesser everyday. maybe it's for the fact that I'm getting much more fitter than before. now I can go through training steadier and recover fast. with other improvements such as speed, reflex, and power. but still, I lack the strategy and consistency which I noticed for myself during games with friends at training. even the recent tournament I've played which is the Novice Badminton Championships 2011, I only managed to reach the 2nd round in the singles campaign going down in 3 games 19-21, 21-11, 13-21. I did not play my usual game.. at least that's what my dad say.

so far, I'm still resuming training with AST for the whole year.. with the hope of achieving much better results in future tournaments.

Hey Doc
on 15th March 2011, it was a historic day for my family. with all 3 members of the family (including me) who sat in the SPM exam achieved the overall best results (currently) with cousin Audrey taking home 5As 4Bs, me taking home 6As 4Bs, and cousin Luzud with the family record breaking of 9As 1B. each taking different paths to make the family proud.

A doctor and a business man working together. imagine me and Luzud like this O_o

Luzud is to take on the business world while I am to take on doctor specialising in radiology. honestly, I don't know what will my cousin Audrey take when she furthers her studies later. but I'm wishing all the best with her. the only thing is, now I'm caught up with badminton, so, my studies are delayed to January 2012 where I will either go A-Levels(Science) or Foundation in Science at my choice of college. now, I'm currently favouring Nirwana College as my college of choice. many of my friends are asking me to go to Taylor's. well, I'll take a look at that. which university I go after college remains unknown. for now, I need to focus on badminton.

Friendship Never Ends

we're the students of 5A '10, SM St Michael!

everybody will soon part ways to pursue for their future. however, as long as the friendship is still there, all the separate ways that was once chosen by each individual will soon meet at one end of the path. in that term, friends call it "reunion". recently(14 May 2011) my buddy Isaac Yee organised an outing for the students class 5A of 2010. it was an important event for me because I've not met them for weeks. the outing was a memorable one for me as we had barbeques, chattering all around, laughing a lot like it used to be in class. then we had fun on the beach, dip our legs into the calming waters of the beach. then wet each other and stuff. a couple had their own sweet time together too! hehe.

sleeping on each others' belly

women of the future

I really had fun until it ends in the afternoon and I have to follow my best friend Jason home. since it was raining at the time, Jason hang out at my house till the rain stops. though I don't know when did he left because I fell asleep while he was still at my house. hahaha.

everybody is changing. not physically much yet but in terms of maturity. may the friendship we have together will not end here and then we'll have another reunion and outing!

The End of Another Romance

me(left) and Audrey during national service

as everybody knows, I'm no longer together with girlfriend Audrey. nobody was at fault and it was also for the best. I don't want any distractions at the moment and I need that 100% focus in what I'm doing. either in badminton or studying. Audrey needs to do the same too. but I'm also hoping that she doesn't wait for me and not be afraid if she falls in love with another guy. I once heard a friend saying that "people change". so, don't wait for me okay? there's lots of others better than me. and I have "unfinished business" with myself.

that's all the current happenings in my life. overall, things are a bit more quiet now. more like I need to hibernate in bed. huh~!

okay la, that's Chapter 26 for you, Zackie OUT!

PHOTOS CREDIT TO: ~Annaliza Giluk~

My Randomness!! Ep. 17: After this Song is Over

as of My Randomness!! episode for today, I'm posting one of my all-time favourite songs to date..

and today's song is..

JENG JENG JENG!!

"WEDDING DRESS"! featuring the phenomenal korean pop artist TAEYANG of BIGBANG

this vid below is the sing along version of the song. the meaning of every word is also posted here in case you wanna know what this song means..

anyways.. ENJOY!


Korean(Romanji) Lyrics

niga geuwa datugo
ttaeron geu ttaeme ulgo
himdeureo hal ttaemyeon nan huimangeul neukkigo
amudo moreuge mam a-a-apeugo
nijageun misomyeon tto damdamhaejigo

niga hoksina nae maeumeul alge doelkkabwa
arabeorimyeon uri meoreojige doelkkabwa
nan sumeul jug yeo
tto ipsureul kkaemureo
jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima
Cuz you should be my Lady
oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

noraega ullimyeon ije neoneun
geuwa pyeongsaengeul hamkkehajyo
oneuri oji ankireul
geureoke na maeil bam gidohaenneunde

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

nae mameul mollajwotdeon
nega neomu miwoseo
gakkeumeun nega bulhaenghagil nan baraesseo
imi nae nunmureun da ma ma mareugo
beoreutcheoreom honja neoege malhago

maeil bam geureoke buranhaetdeongeol bomyeon nan
ireoke doelkkeoran geon aranneunjido molla
nan nuneul gama
kkeuchi eomneun kkumeul kkwo
jebal geureul tteona naege ogil

Baby jebal geuui soneul japjima
Cuz you should be my Lady
oraen sigan gidaryeo on nal dorabwajwo

noraega ullimyeon ije neoneun
geuwa pyeongsaengeul hamkkehajyo
oneuri oji ankireul
geureoke na maeil bam gidohaenneunde

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

budi geuwa haengbokhae
neoreul ijeul su itge
nae chorahaetdeon moseupdeureun da ijeojwo
birok handonganeun
na jugeul mankeum himi deulgetjiman no oh

neomu oraen siganeul chakgak soge
hollo babocheoreom saratjyo
ajikdo nae geunyeoneun nal bogo
sae hayake utgo inneunde

nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu
nega ibeun wedingdeureseu

English(Translation) Lyrics
I would argue
Then you would cry
As you’re struggling, I would only get stronger
My heartaches behind these shadows
My face brightens up as I see your smile
I worry that you might notice my feelings
And I get scared that the gap between us would widen
I hold my breath
Then I bite my lips
Then I pray that she would leave his side.
Baby, please don’t hold those hands

Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

You, who never understood my feelings
Because of that, I ended up despising you
Then I wished a misfortune upon you
But now, my eyes are dry
I try to talk to you but I realized that I’m alone
Every night, I would look back and think
If I already knew the results
Then I close my eyes
Then I dream an endless dream
Then I pray she would leave his side.
Baby, please don’t hold those hands

Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.
Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

By all means, be happy with him
So I can move on
Please erase me out of your heart
Although I tried my best but, no oh~
I’ve been living the lies for too long
Yet, she would look at me and smile.

My Randomness!! Ep. 16: Special Edition

oh I so love korean musics! especially when a new one comes out from my very own favourite..

BIG BANG!!

this "Love Song" by Big Bang is their newest single from the album "Special Edition".

be sure to check out others such as "Stupid Liar", "Baby Don't Cry", and many more!

My Randomness!! Ep. 15: What My Blog Means

hey all.. Zackie here..

I love to blog you know.. I like telling stuffs to people.. even about my life..
well, I can blog anything else but blogging about my life is what my parents don't want me to do..
I know it's a bit dangerous, I mean telling about your life to others, especially when you're in love, working, or studying..
these things should be private..

I'm serious..

sometimes I blog too much about myself until.. it makes me feel like my life isn't a mystery to anyone anymore.. which SUCKS. I used to think that blogging is like writing a public diary that could get you famous whenever a few people start reading it.. and then more will come reading it and get into your life's story.

I mean.. look at me
what's so interesting about reading my life in this blog site?
I only have like.. 10 followers.. I even try to promote my blog in facebook!

hahahaha.. initially I thought of trying to get as many people as possible to read my blog and maybe I could be an internet hit! whose life is what everyone's been going through..

but now..

I don't think that's the case anymore..

now, I think that it's a good thing to keep the posts on my life here on blogger..
somehow, I think they serve a purpose here..

some of my older posts are childish and really have no meaning at all but some gives life lessons that I went through but you won't have to..

let's take one of my previous post as an example..
one such as My Randomness Episode 9.. which talks on people making promises..
I know a person once say that "a promise made is a promise kept"..

you know what? BULLSHIT...
the person that say this to me even said that "promises are meant to be broken"..
which side are you on anyway?
my life was f*cked because of your heartless promise which I had nothing to do with! though I don't blame you for not being sorry about it..
back to that topic.. I emphasize that people should not make promises that could affect others especially ones close to you.
the promise should only lead you and your one friend or closed group.

on Chapter 22 of my life,
I blogged about what would probably my life be after high school..
there, I was actually telling people to plan ahead..
it's your life, choose your pathway wisely..
if you lose your way, it's always good to seek guidance from parents and relatives..
right now I'm living the pathway of Scenario 1 for your information..

other than that, my previous posts on my love life..
there, there's something to learn about.. I'm telling guys to not give up..
you have to try.. maybe not just try but JUST DO IT!
though there will be many hardships like what I've been through..
but believe me, from those hardships, you might just be the guy that every girl wants..
I know, not every guy have to go through the hardships..
some are natural with women.. I've no problems with these guys..
but to guys who aren't having that "special magnet", you may be a rascal who knows little about women..
but I know, deep inside, every good guy is a gentleman, who tries every little thing to get things right with his woman.. it may be harsh, or rough, or annoying, but it's all narrowed down to one thing; LOVE..
well, I guess not many ever know about what happened to my love life.. let's just say that I was only considered "best friend" by my ex girlfriend for the whole time we've been together.. it hurts I know, but don't blame anybody on the matter.. I found a new love, she's far better and.. this may be the last time I'll ever blog about my love life..

because love life is supposed to be PRIVATE..

anyway.. I think I'm done for now..
I'm not doing this because I wanted more subscribers (followers) but I just want to tell everyone why my blog is here to stay despite the little views and boring posts..

Zackie out~..

My Randomness!! Ep. 14: For You and Your Denial

one of Yellowcard's newest song that's coming out this year~!

Chapter 25: Malam Aprisiasi, Sejuta Emosi

hello...
hello...
HELLO...
HELLOOOOOOO!!!!!

hey hye hi sayonara goodbye!

LOL.. hey guys..

looks like I'm back!! wow.. I'm just so glad to be back.. I don't know what to say..

erm.. let's just say I'm home now.. that sounds better..

okay! now where should I start.. wow, there's just so much to tell. but oh well, because it's quite long, I'll just divide it into parts so it'll be easier for you guys to read MY EXPERIENCE..

1st Month
I entered the camp, which is called Kem Tanaki, Tambunan... it was on the 4th of January 2011..

....

I should just cut the sarcrapsm I guess :D

anyways.. my 1st day was full of hurry. I certainly don't know what the heck am I supposed to do! all I knew was to register myself at the counter in the cafeteria area. as I registered myself, the coaches (I have to call them cikgu) told me which dorm should I be in. there are 8 dorms in the guys dorm area; 7 are where the guys sleep and 1 which is for keeping the dorms' pillow and bed sheets. and so, I was stationed at dorm no. 7.. oooh a lucky number... even the dorm's special because it's also known as the 1Malaysia dorm because the dorm is a mixture of all the companies (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and Delta). by the way, I was chosen randomly to become a Charlie member. the main colour for Alpha is red, Bravo is blue, Charlie is yellow, and Delta is green.. quite similar to the rumah sukan colours back in school days. and so I walked down from the cafeteria to my dorm on steps. I struggled at 1st because my luggage was kinda heavy and the steps were high.. damn!

Dorm 7: the dorm which I live in for the rest of my PLKN life

my locker. yes, it's been "graffitied"

moving on, as I reach my dorm, I could tell which dorm I'm supposed to be in from the numbers painted on the walls of each dorm. so, I found mine and entered the building.. the dorm was long which fits 30 people in it. to my surprise, a few friendly dudes greeted me. one of them is Frankie.. he's a cool dude and also a really good friend of mine but I didn't really know him at that time I 1st got there. and so Frankie showed me to my bed, which was empty because it had no bed sheet and pillow.. just a bed. then Frankie told me that I should go get my haircut and attires immediately before evening falls. so, I dropped my bags, ran out and get my hair cut.. damn! imagine.. the haircut size are all 1!! after getting "bald", again I quickly ran uphill to reach my next destination, which is the logistics where I get all of the attire that I'm suppose to wear during the whole time I'm in camp (compulsory wearing them outside dorm area only). there are 3 attires; the class attire, sports attire, and full blue camo attire.

cool huh...
YEAH!

anyways.. let's cut to the chase then shall we???

okay, so the 1st month was a bit shaky for me.. because.. it's like "hey, I don't know you, so just f*ck off!" kind of feeling. short say, it's ICE BREAKING TIME~~~~! but I don't know exactly how to start, the only buddy I have there at that time was Kelvin but we're both in different companies (Kelvin's a Delta member). I started making friends with a few dudes in the same company during the 1st annual company meeting. they were a group of funny dudes known as Ooyie (Ezryzal) and Genji (I don't know his real name).. anyway, during the meeting, every company has to create their company name (other than the original given name), pledges, visi and misi, and flag! man, it really was fun that time. that was one of the only times that guys are able to mix with the girls.. like seriously..

this is how the guys' dorm area looks like.. from outside

then for the whole month, we had like classes... yeah, it felt like I'm back at school again only meeting with totally new friends. the only good thing about these classes was.. you won't have homeworks. just practical works I guess (that's what we call it at least).

2nd Month
ahh.. the 2nd month arrive.. just after Chinese New Year.. which also happens to be my birthday! woohoooooOO~! I'm finally 18 years old! I'm kinda legal for certain cool stuffs already if you know what I mean...

......

not that kind of thing okay... pffts..

anyway...

February didn't start off that good for me but it went all well afterwards.. furthermore it was rather like cow shit.. at the beginning.. of the start.. of the.. beginning.. haha..

okay, we started the physical module.. where strength and wits are put to the test. luckily I had some strength to pull through the activities.. mainly the obstacle run which was quite fun; like playground for grown ups.. I felt like a child again. it was awesome..

then we had the high ropes activities where we walk along ropes high above the ground. it was really scary at 1st but while doing it, you'll actually overcome it and the feeling really rocks. other than that, we experienced the flying fox activity. it makes you feel like you're a flying man instead of a fox.. coz.. you're a human right...? :D

other than that, we had this marching competition.. it was pretty damn awesome! I mean, if any of you can compare national service's marching to school's marching, I bet national service's marching kicks ass to the core. congratulations to team Alpha for their victory in marching.. my team Charlie didn't make the cut into the top 2 but I know that Charlie already did their best and I think that our performance was awesome so, kudos for Charlie!

by this time, everybody is starting to get in close with one another.. in fact, it happens to everybody in the camp.. it's like we became brothers and sisters. because of this, we began to appreciate the times we had together while it lasts..

FRIENDS FOREVER :D

3rd Month
the 3rd and final month.. which only lasts for 13 days. there was nothing much to do left. which also means it's like a month for spending more time with friends and special ones. one of the training activities that I did during the 3rd month was the M-16 training; where each person are given 30 shots at the rifle (10 bullets for testing, 20 for marks taking). out of 100 marks, I only managed to score 39. the highest scorer in our camp was by Fairuz and Dzafir, wirawati and wira respectively, with the score of 79. according to the history of the M-16 shooting in national service, the highest scorer in Malaysia was a wirawati from Nabawan, Sabah with an outstanding score of 98 points out of 100. so far, not one has surpass the 96 mark. only a few 92s and that's it.

other than that, our camp also had this "Tanaki Idol" singing competition! I bet the very reason why our camp have this singing competition is because 90% of the peeps in camp are talented in singing but only 10 will be chosen to feature in the final of Tanaki Idol! and so, every week there will be elimination.. one by one will be out until 10 are left in the competition. the final 10 performances were one of the best I've ever seen so far.. with a wira from Delta company taking the title as the Tanaki Idol 2011. though there were some other prizes too such as best vocal and best performance. the final lasted from 9pm till midnight which made us so sleepy at the end of the show.

the final of Tanaki Idol

this is what I wore for the night of Tanaki Idol's final

and then the final activity in camp.. which is known as Wirajaya! so.. what is Wirajaya? well, it is where we enter the woods and camp out there for the night. each company are given a starting point, a compass, and a bearing on where we should go. luckily I learnt bearing in maths class so I quite understand how all of this works. so, we entered the woods.. it was raining so some of us were struggling to move in the woods especially on the hillside as the way was very slippery. because of this, I slipped a few times causing my hand to get cuts from sharp-edged plants. but still, it was fun. upon reaching our campsite, we built our tent where each tent fits two person in it. however, our actual activity hasn't started yet.. it start at night at 9pm. so, at night we had this activity called "search and rescue". as the activity says, we had to search for our missing comrades in the dark woods.. each of our missing comrades that we found were "seriously wounded". some had injury on their head, legs.. what more, even the bones on their legs were sticking out! but since it was only a pretend injury, none of us were in panic. then, we rescue our "fallen" comrades by giving them emergency help first before transferring them back to campsite. it was fun but it doesn't end there..

our next activity was to "guard" our campsite from any invading forces. the shit thing about this activity was we have to be actively guarding from 11pm till 6am! luckily, it was so fun that we forgot about sleeping..

at 7am, we packed up and head back to the main camp area..

on the 12th of March, we had our closing ceremony, which was a memorable one.. we had lots of performances from our very own fellow comrades. some sang, acted out, and more poetry! at the end of the ceremony, all of us had the chance to say our final thanks to our coaches who have been there for us since day 1.. the moments were so touching that almost everyone was crying (including me)..

at the end of our national service.. all there is was memories.. memories that will forever be in everyone's mind and hearts.. I will never forget all of those moments we had together..

enjoy twilight.. like seriously :D

WELL...

that's all the experience that I had during national service!!

hope you readers enjoyed this very long blog of mine (or maybe not long)... it took me 3 weeks just to finish this up! like seriously! phew.. anyways.. coming to the next chapter.. I'll be sharing my "personal" experience! stay tune folks.. :D

Chapter 24: Heroes and Heroines (Wira Wirawati)

gosh...

I nearly forgot...

I'M LEAVING TOMORROW!!!

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

..................


o... okay...

hey guys.. it's me once again with the continuation of the "Chapter" series. right now it's Chapter 24 and.. it's the 1st chapter of my life in 2011...

BUT, 1st of all, I know I was a dick by not wishing you guys and girls this but...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011!

but seriously... don't you people want to know where was I during the past few days that I've been AFK-ing??

well.. not much...

I was just packing up.. you know.. the usual stuff... for school...

you know what, I should just cut the sarcrapsm...

okay, I was just packing up for the national service, which will start live nationally by next week and I'm leaving home by tomorrow.

I'm kinda excited because..

instead of being a potato at home playing video games, watch tv and sleeping, I will be getting a whole new experience.. an experience like.. the song "A Whole New World" from "Aladdin"! I'll get a new fantastic point of view~ no one could tell me no.. or where to go~!

wait a minute... I'm blogging the lyrics already...

ANYWAYS...

so yeah.. I'm gonna have a whole new experience.. I'm kinda looking forward to the M16 training... it's going to be the 1st time that I'll be handling a rifle. well, I always thought that I should start with a handgun instead of a rifle but... hey... who cares.. I'll be carrying guns..

YEAH~!

and yes.. I'm really glad that I'm chosen for this programme... I mean... out of the millions of ex form 5 all over Malaysia, I got picked.

erm.. the song.. "Wira Wirawati"..

honestly.. I've never heard the song.. I've never even try to memorise and sing the song. hahaha.. sorry... xD

it's not like I'm not being patriotic but I think I would love the song... but I'll try not to listen to it now. I'll save it until the day I leave this town because... well... the title says so.

from my perspective.. only Heroes and Heroines are able to sing this song!

YEAH~!

not only life there would be fun.. it'll be like PRISON.

though I don't know how prison is like but... you know... 6 days in camp.. 1 day out to church.. then I can't go anywhere else but to follow back the bus to camp and then visiting time. one thing I don't like about this is.. I have to wear my uniform for every time I leave the camp to do outdoor activities (none physical activities). that's like.. a PRISONER on PAROL or.. like those dudes who collects trash on the sidewalks using sticks while being supervised by officers.

Imagine me in PLKN uniform doing outdoor activities like these

I'm not a prisoner okay..? I'm doing the country a favour.. I mean.. I even let you people touch my hair.. and shave it..

but guess what.. once I'm out.. you can't touch it no more.. coz I'mma go JOHNNY BRAVO!

that's right... that's Johnny Bravo alright

okay.. that's too much.. I'm just ranting on small stuffs... you know me :D

well.. all I know is, it ain't going to be like school no more. I just saw my younger cousins going to school today and memories of my days at school are all coming back to me once more... it makes me feel like... this isn't right! but hey... I'm too old for middle school... it's time to go high.. on ecstasy...

...... high education I mean.....

everybody is moving on... but to those who still wants to stay... be my guest. just make sure Mama Yong doesn't catch you and shave you down.

before I end this sarcraptic blog...

I just want you guys to know that...

I found out that my parents would want to enrol me into college sooner. and to those who has read my blog in Chapter 22.. I guess I'm heading much more to the 2nd scenario.

this also means that.. I have to put my dreams on hold once more. I need more time to study though I think my old habits of procrastinating my works is still with me... hahaha.. I hope it goes away... please...

wait...

any update of me and my girlfriend???

well yeah... I'm glad we're still going strong. ever since I finished middle school, we only get to meet once on the 28th of December. I enjoyed every second of it... though we had a small "argument" at the end of the day. but anyways, since now it's going to be a distant relationship, we decided that we should go for it and see what happens. I'm not saying anything will be for sure but I just want to try and work this out for now.

what did we share together???

erm.. you know what... forget that...

it's only for her and I okay... hahaha! I'm just kiddin guys...
BUT SERIOUSLY...

till the next post guys! in 3 months of course! I LOVE YOU ALL though I know there ain't much readers reading my sarcraptic blog...

Zackie out~

by the way, sarcrapsm means sarcastic + crap.. it's a new word by me..

YEAH~!